palagpat..

i should be writing a legal article about a comparison between the Maceda Law as contradistinguished from the Recto Law now but my mind is battling on pondering other things. i give up. maybe after this i can work on what i ought to do.. hopefully. lol

been in a great storm lately. along with the constant pouring of rain is the piling up of my problems. i am struggling so to speak. good thing i have the best support group in the world - my friends! cheesy, i know.. but who cares?

somehow, things are slowly getting back to normal but the aftermath is a bit dreadful.. now it boils down to the question of going home and losing them or staying here, with them, and losing my chance of escape, or should i say my liberty.. its not that i am detained or something. i dont even need a writ of habeas corpus for that matter.. its just that i feel im missing something out.

i miss my previous jobs.. the work loads.. the not so lucrative salary.. i even miss going out in the middle of the night just to buy anything i dont even need.. i miss the park and waste a reasonable time doing nothing.. i miss them all..

lets just say i started stopping..

the pain finally set in.. i love him but i need some air.. a mind of my own.. a thing for myself..

when i decided to leave my family and rediscover the other side of life, i know someday, there will be regrets.. im 23 that time. a document analyst trying to cope up with the pressures of a not so ideal job.. i have a girlfriend who, by that time, happen to be taking her 2nd year in law school.. i have friends.. not so established.. but at least we ALL are not.. until suddenly, i woke up one morning, lying in a different bed, with a different residence, without my family, and all alone.

i have oftentimes wondered why and how the hell did i ever agreed in such a proposal. until now i cant still figure it out. maybe its the fear.. or maybe its just plain immaturity. either way, i am now suffering the consequences.

the other night, i wanted to party. hug my friends. see my best friend. and kill myself.

good thing, my mother called on the very moment. indeed, a motherly heart knows when her child is in pain..

for everything that happened, especially on the way i acted, to elyang, rakistah, ms late comer, officer miga, buninay, and best, thank you and my apologies..

to misaki, salamat.. what you did that morning was way beyond my expectation..