PresUMPtion anD'The ASSupmtion..

presumptions and assumptions do not share the same definition.. but people oftentimes equate both words to be synonymous.. im not sure. it may even be that im the only person to that "people" word.. lol

after i graduated in college and earned a degree in AB Political Science, i worked in a non-voice business process outsourcing company.. though my degree is way far unconnected with the job, i managed to bear the pressure for almost two years.. in that company, we only adhere to one simple rule. NEVER ASSUME. the job is mainly on documents.. organizing, analysis and a lot of encoding (titles, authors, recipients, copyees, dates, etc..). in every project, we follow a different set of specification, from the capitalization down to the minutest details. again, in every project, its a must that we DONT ASSUME. there are never any PRESUMPTION. the issue of whether or not the specification has errors are never entertained. do what the client tells you to do, and give what the client needs. period.

when i entered law school, everything changed. the way we deal with cases is oftentimes equated with a certain PRESUMPTION that in the absence of any evidence or legal basis that may outweigh it, the presumption still stands. as matter of fact, assumptions, in a way of a proposition, may even strengthen your defense. dot dot dot? lol

am i making any sense? i dont really care. i dont even know why the hell i am writing about this stuff. lol

walk away..

love is, and will always be, full of ambiguity. it's not a thing or an emotion or a relationship that is boxed and patterned to follow a single path and direction. every bit of the letter, from the moment one tried to define or even spell it, creates an additional path jumbled with the existing conventional ones..

we often think that love is something we should not suppress. i once was a fan to that. now, im inclined to believe the other way.

this is not to say that what i have been relying into for the last two decades of my life was a complete waste. something in me, would like to admit that i am still open for reconsideration. but as of now, i am dealing with it differently.. and testimonies of some friends somehow made me feel i am doing the right thing.. as they say, anything extraordinary is a waste of time.

we have heard stories of people, who from being friends or bestfriends have managed to level up. and by level up i mean clothing them a different personality -- this time not as friends but as lovers. this scenario is not novel anymore.. but i opt not to take my chance. not because i fear rejection but because of equity. id rather walk away from the friendship than to let myself drown in love that can never be possibly mine.. id rather lose him than to lose track of my being.. id rather cut the crap than be a crap!

sellout...

"for all we know, some of them aren't the way we perceive them to be.."

we all have what-we-so-called friends, companions, enemies, loved ones, and the rest, simply acquaintances.. however, the expectation that may come out of such an encounter will always vary and most of the time, although not a generalization, disappointing! some of you may have experienced a real friendship that bloom out of just a simple "hi-hello" to a stranger seated right beside you on the plane or a bus in one of your trips.. others might narrate how painful it was for a friendship that end out with a betrayal.. for some, things may have wonderfully preserved the relationship but for the rest, maybe by now they are already on the guessing game on the how(s), the when(s), the what(s), the where(s), and the why(s) such intimacy suddenly metamorphosed into coldness and incompatibility..

the worth of something as sweet as friendship is always a variable. in mathematics, it is that which does not have any quantitative value.. for this, it can be said that such is also a gamble.. for all we know, some of them aren't the way we perceive them to be.. in law school or in political science, there is this animal called prostitution of politics, where the ought to be trusted government official uses their power for personal gratification and motives.. somehow, friendship is like that.. the user and one "used", the abused and the abuser, the fake and the genuine..

what's my point? one word. B-E-W-A-R-E!

:-)

i just broke a record. so far, i have not had a lustful encounter for almost 2 weeks! lol

i guess it has something to do with the "busyness" of everybody nowadays.. although literally, there's been a couple of invites, i have managed to say "I CAN'T".. and i love myself for that!

i wanted change.. and i know it can't be that gradual.. but god dammit, im trying! and trying a LOT harder.. considering the coldness on this past rainy days.. :-)

update. i have backed out from the moot court competition. my other colleague can no longer find time for this stuff because of her hectic work schedule and workloads, so i don't have any other option but to back out as well.. i'm not saying that i am surrendering to such an exciting mental combat.. it's just that i dont want to work with people i dislike..

other than that, everything is routinary, of course with the exception of my "extracurricular activities"..

i am loving the rain!

...

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haizt! im bored.

a new day..

as been repeatedly said, there shall always be sunshine after the rain.. although technically, the rain hasnt stopped yet and typhoon pepeng seemed to like passing the philippines, this time i must say, i am feeling better.

tragedies happen. that's part of our existence. the underlying principle that can make us strong lies from this.. i am not saying that we should be happy everytime these tragedies came but it's always so rewarding to, from time to time, focus on the brighter side. we have witnessed so much loss when "ondoy" visited us, but we have also seen a lot of bravery and courage.. generousity and heroism.

in times like this, we always find ways to reconstruct and reconfigure the broken pieces.. at times when you feel like you are being left out, there will always be a magical helping hand that will pull you out from the oblivion.. and more often than not, the person you never expected to be there will be the person whom you will be indebted for the rest of your life..

i know this post may not seem to be ME, as i have always been very vocal of my pessimism. let me be.. i am wrecked by what had happened but i am also touched by the things that i have been witnessing for the past days. i guess, we all have the right to be emotional (in a positive way) from time to time..

hope. let's not allow destiny to take this away from our hands.. out of our hearts.. out of our lives.. completely.

gud day fellahs!

in pain..

im in pain again.. i guess pain and me will never be separated anymore..

last night, i immediately went home after a mental torture from law school. i was so tired that i really wanted a rest as early as possible.. when i reached home, i ate my dinner as i watched a local program in the TV.. before i was able to finish my dinner, my partner went home with some groceries.. maybe because i was damn tired that night that i subconsciously ignored his presence.. before i knew it, he told me in a very crispy tone:

"ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO!..."

now i know how painful this phrase can be.. never imagined that i will be hearing this line uttered for me.. i wanted to fight back but i know it would do me no good.. instead, i turned off my laptop, went to the balcony and lighted a cigarette.. i stayed there for hours, trying to get some comfort from the cold breeze..

im sorry if i am tired! im sorry if i wasnt able to fix your stuffs! im sorry if im such a loser! im sorry if i cant be the perfect partner that i can be! im sorry, ok?! sigh